To
my sweet Ezekiel James,
From the day you were born we’ve called
you our angel baby. I had plans of celebrating your first birthday with you,
listening to you say your first words and teaching you how to ride a bike, but
our God had a much different plan. We
spent 141 days slathering you with kisses, hugs, and more snuggles than most
babies get in an entire year, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world! There
were mornings we would hustle your big sister off to school with tears in her
eyes because she hadn’t gotten to hold you long enough before we had to
leave. If Madi held you, then Emmitt had
to hold you for the same amount of time. You were loved.
I never thought I’d be the mommy
writing this letter. My arms ache to hold you again, to feed you, to rock you
to sleep on my chest just one more time.
Nothing comforts me more than imagining you curled up in the arms of our
Savior, the one who created you, who gave you your daddy’s ears and the
sweetest little butt-chin; the only one who loves you more than I do. I long to
be reunited with you again in heaven. Each morning I wake up, I remind myself
that I’m one night closer to spending eternity with our angel baby. One night
closer to watching you laugh and play with a smile on your face. One night closer
to hearing you say Mama. I pray that
your brother and sister will grow up with an eternal perspective far greater
than I ever knew at their young age.
My heart longs to know why, but I trust
our God’s plan is bigger than my own. I trust
that perhaps your purpose here on earth wasn’t to fill my mommy arms, but to fill
my mommy heart and bring glory to His name. Ezekiel James you have forever
changed my life. A part of me has gone to heaven and I long to be whole again
one day. Thank you for reminding me that my life on this earth is but a vapor.
You, were the sweetest vapor I’ve ever smelled.
Love,
Your
Mama
Your faith is unfaltering and your words so eloquent. God chose you and Matt to be the parents of 3 babies because He knew you could give them the love and life they need while always teaching them to love Jesus. I have been on my knees praying incessantly for your family and won't stop. Hold on to your faith and one another as you face each moment that lies ahead. You are loved, we won't let you fall...
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