Today you would have been five months old, FIVE months! Madi had been anticipating for weeks that your next "birthday" was the day after Thanksgiving and she woke up this morning and said, "If Zekey were here he'd be five today!"
It was harder than I thought it was going to be. Maybe I just didn't prepare myself well enough, maybe I shouldn't have sat and pictured your sweet cheeks for as long as I did, or maybe it's just going to get harder before it ever gets easier. But I couldn't help but wonder if you were still here if you'd be sitting up and balancing on your little belly at all, or if you would be pushing up on all fours like your brother was at this age. I couldn't help but try and listen really hard for your sweet cooing and giggles you mostly gave out to your big brother and sister.
I know in my heart of hearts that you were never created to be here with us at five months old. You were never going to be here to celebrate your first Thanksgiving with us and you were never even going to spend 142 days on this earth. I know God's plan was to snatch you back to heaven, but I can't help but wonder what today would have been like with you in my arms.
I love you my sweet angel baby!