We have a five year old in our
house who is just dying to be
five-and-a-half! He’s been asking wih eager anticipation now for months and
we’ve basically had a count down until that day arrives… Because obviously
five-and-a-half sounds so much bigger
than just five!
I remember so many things about
November 15th, 2014. For just an ordinary day, I can recite what we
did almost hour by hour. But sometime
that afternoon I pulled our oldest up onto my lap and I said with excitement, guess what tomorrow is?!? It’s YOUR
half-birthday! That means you’ll be exactly five-and-a-half! She squealed
with excitement.
We don’t necessarily celebrate our
half-birthdays, but we do get excited about them…at least the kids’! Milestones
are the best when you’re a kid. They make you feel old and extra special, and
it seemed so old to think about my biggest baby being five and a half already!!!
Little did I know that that day
would be marked by much more than just a half-birthday. It would come and go
without me ever exclaiming with excitement, You’re
five-and-a-half! It would be a half-birthday forever marked by the sting of
death.
So as we ease up to Emmitt’s
half-birthday, the same half-birthday that marked such tragedy for Madi, there’s
a part of me that gasps a little with the thought of Emmitt reaching this
milestone. Could my second possibly be
this big already? Has time really just kept marching by? Will
February 24th be another catastrophic landmark in my life or just
another half-birthday in the books?
The thoughts are all over the board
and the sentiment is high. Emmitt was so little when his brother died, just
barely over three, but he’s always been the chattiest about Zekey. He often
exclaims how he wants him back again and just this week he asked me with deep
sincerity, “Mom would Zekey be playing Legos with me if he was still here?” The
disappointment of that reality stung a little as I assured him he probably
would be.
Yesterday my
almost-five-and-a-half-year-old was taking pictures and videos of his baby
brother on his watch when he exclaimed, “Mom, I should keep these ones, huh?
Cause that way when Asher dies before I do, and I’m still alive, I’ll have
pictures and videos to remember him with!” and I whispered, yeah baby, keep those pictures.
Five-and-a-half is here, and I’m
excited to celebrate you, Emmitt Matthew!
